What is tooday

The part of Joshua is that I'm twenty percent present.  The harder I like something now the more I live in the past.  I can not move forward sometimes because of this immobilizing history and the weight physically and mentally is placed on me.  When you always recollect times your regrets in life, you walk around with an influence on your body, and no matter how you look on the outside the worse you feel on the inside.  It's like playing a scratched cd you are always in a loop in your head.  No matter how far I progress, I am still that past Josh as well as the present version of my self.  This is incredibly hypocritical of me and very insane.  Insanity is repeating the same things and expecting different results.  I keep living n the past but it damn sure does not help my present self at all.  I feel that until I let go I will never be able to take the risk because in the past it hurt.  Be ready to learn all I can because in the past I ...

I thought that things would magically fall into place at a certain point in my life, but it did not.  I don't know where this illusion came from, but I do know that it can't continue. What people like myself tend to overestimate is the quality of people and what they can and can't do.  I place my faith in people so much not causes me confused and angry and self-hatred.  You can only take the blame for everything for so long before it drives you crazy.  I feel like I always made excuses for other people because I thought that what I was a person that I was helping the people in my life but all you do is end up hurting them instead. The people in our lives need that check just like you do.  Pretending something is your fault or creating excuses causes them to repeat behaviors because they believe it is acceptable to you.  The key to anything to stand up for something.  I know that bridges are going to burn, but I learned those connections were never c...