What is tooday

I feel like at this point in my life I no longer have any climax left as far as excitement left.  The point of no return is the very complicated situation to be in.  I feel as though I am very far down that road right now.  Well, thats not entirely right about the to far gone thing but I think that way sometimes.  I know for a fact that the amount of stress and anxiety is overwhelming which is comparative to someone in the climax of there first stress-induced pain.  I would love to relax and take time for my self, but this is not that point yet.  I feel like I hear so much disappointment that I almost forgot what success and happiness feel like.  I know for a fact that I have lost a lot of time and relationships because of the anxiety and stress which does make you more guarded.  When you become guarded you tend to close yourself off from the world and simple things you used to do become way more complicated because...

I realize through watching my family that there are some patterns that people can fall into like the ones I have developed, and they can become accustomed to being a certain way.  The best aspects of humanity are the ability to adapt to the surroundings they are in.  The analogy I heard from a youtube video referenced a lobster changing because its shell got too small for its growing body and the lack of comfort causes the lobster to change the shell it is currently within.  The truth of this is important to point out that the key changes come from the discomfort that we feel.  The evolution of the pain tends to grow and evoke people to a certain extent and make them different.  The ole survival of the fittest no longer applies I feel like because of the survival is marked by others ability to make each fit.  I do not want to adopt certain principles of constantly complaining and also creating the doubt by reliving ...

When I first came back to this house, I did this n9t by my choice per se but by the decision of someone else which is not the best way to go about decisions all the time.  The more significant decisions that impact you should be thought about on a personal level they have to be.  No matter what happens in the grand scheme of things to everything around you decide for yourself.  If you do not choose for yourself when you feel a loss of control, and you think a lack of power on your decisions. You feel like you have no will to continue if you don't make it your choice.  Do what you have to do to make it your power. The worst thing to do is live someones else life, and then you lose who you are as a person.  I feel you are not the person who you want to be.  I say screw everyone else decisions and live on your own and make those mistakes and be proud of them.  Nothing wrong about asking for advice but don't forget it's your choice your power. Everyone ...

The doubt here is not an entertainment industry problem but a human problem.  The crazy thing is we actually know that we can do something great and have the ability to achieve something great but the doubt comes in our heads.  I know that is definitely true for me as well because when things and situations in our lives are going great, it never seems to matter what happens but when things suck we let the doubt come in.  That is indeed amazing that the thinking in our mind only have a negative impact on us when we are at our weakest.  It is almost a flood of ideas and concepts all come together in our heads.  I have happy thoughts and boom more happy thoughts, but let a negative one sneak in, and that’s all she wrote from the comfortable thinking I was having.  The problem with this is that when we are already doing it hits us that much harder.  The point of this comes back to the superheroes movies, where the hero has a little doubt and the floodgate...

 The importance of showing that emotion has grown more important to me.  I get saddened by the news so much I got to the point that I just say “figures” when I hear something wrong.  I know that it does not figure, but I feel as though it is a defense mechanism for the scanning and suffering that people go through.  The worst aspects of people get displayed every day, yes, but I can not ever forget the good qualities of people as well.  The best conditions of people come from the tv as well. Why do some people stand out while others don’t?  I was always amazed at that principle that some people are willing to die to become something, while others are not.  We almost celebrate people whom are free and do not follow the same rules that everyone else has to follow.  We place them on this pedestal, and we call them better than us because we are stuck in our ways, and we can not change because we have to follow the rules.  I am one of those supp...

Today is full of opportunity and hope from a guy that does not have the choice to have any say or any real guidance for what I am doing. The most significant failures of my life I associate closely with the simple fact that I am to blame for everything.  I am scared of many different things for change to driving to deep sea to heights all types of stuff, and that fear of the unknown creates panic within me, and I can not live a peaceful life it actually becomes one full of anxiety and discomfort be within myself as a person. Maybe no one relates to this but I can honestly say its like waking up with a weight on your shoulders every day, and it creates a lot of stress and constant panic.  It would be more comfortable away from all of this, and we would all be pleased.  I feel pressure not to fail always and that I am not doing enough which in turn makes me feel overwhelmed and actually causes me to do nothing and freeze up when the world is pouring...