Most Times Dreamed

If I had to be honest one thing I do is live inside my head a lot.  Most times I am off dreaming and believing in something grand and adventurous within my mind.  I am differently not grounded in reality most of the time.  I can apparently focus when I am with someone or talking to someone, but I do believe in something more significant most time.  I have already written my post about being stuck, but I definitely feel as though I want to change some things about my current situation.  I tend to watch many different videos regarding different motivational factors including the why do we fall video on youtube and I cry all the time because I like the rocky speech.  I know that I am worth a lot more than what I am currently presenting and it fucking sucks it terrible.  I do believe my dreams are placing me in a situation I can not escape that is filled with disappointment and frustration.  I can say that change does start with each person, and you can disagree with someone or me about that but it can not be more accurate.  I do know that the change has to start with me desperately and I feel as though it has to happen soon.  I have to believe that my life is on a different timeline than the people around me, but I still see myself surrounded by the same self-doubt and self-pity.  I am not doing well at all.  Whats funny is that most people have to assume that others are well even if we know it is not true.  The system and our own minds want us to create standard mechanisms for us to latch onto as reasons somethings are clear as day.  Things in life are not cut and dry there are no clear paths and not clear lines we live in a place that is muddy all over, and the ability to grip onto a little bit of sanity comes from our brain's ability to connect and separate I external world from our internal world.  It is funny this way that I feel these dreams are hard to be able to stop me from believing and hoping I gain the skills to become whatever I am meant to be based upon a system where we have to be something or nothing.

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