Stress and Anixety

I feel like at this point in my life I no longer have any climax left as far as excitement left.  The point of no return is the very complicated situation to be in.  I feel as though I am very far down that road right now.  Well, thats not entirely right about the to far gone thing but I think that way sometimes.  I know for a fact that the amount of stress and anxiety is overwhelming which is comparative to someone in the climax of there first stress-induced pain.  I would love to relax and take time for my self, but this is not that point yet.  I feel like I hear so much disappointment that I almost forgot what success and happiness feel like.  I know for a fact that I have lost a lot of time and relationships because of the anxiety and stress which does make you more guarded.  When you become guarded you tend to close yourself off from the world and simple things you used to do become way more complicated because it is not the same anymore.  It also comes to the point where you have to relearn everything about social interaction that you did not have before.  You can equate this to someone who tries to reconnect with long-lost friends or has been away from society for a long time like castaway or prison.  The time between the person you are now and who you used to be is substantially different,  I feel that I have lost a piece of who I am in a sense and every time I go out into the world it present me with the same problem over and over again.  I feel like being closed off from others can lead to being lonely and lead to depression and bad habits, but the fundamental difference comes from understanding that I can come back from this.  I have to reintroduce4 myself into the world and create an opportunity to become something else.  I am currently trying to do this through jobs and other avenues, but I feel a particular type of pressure.  The pressure that it I am perceived a certain way that I will not be able to come back from the brink of destruction.  I know I may be over analyzing the situation, but that's precisely what you do when stress and anxiety lead you.   It is the equation of walking around with a list of premade responses in your head no matter what is said your brain is programmed to respond the way it has been trained to do even if it is not what you want to do.  I seem to fall back into this when I have stress on myself in life-related goals and tasks.  The question I ask myself is the fact that the burdens I carry have served some purpose.  I know for a fact once you let all the thinking go you will have a life free of all anxiety and stress.  The critical aspect of becoming free is sometimes taking actions that contradict your own programming and it is going to take everything inside you everytime you do it because you are undoing something that has been away for a long time.